'Swoosh' and many other verbs.

Well last night was fun.

Unlike Sam's day, I did hardly anything apart from nurse a small hangover I had received from Christmas day. It was only 'til about half eight Pee Emm that things started to happen.

I stood in my conservatory and, for around ten minutes, observed Sam Holden doing some kind of Shakin' Stevens manoeuvre in the middle of my road. I watched and had a jolly good giggle, but then decided to help him out a bit with some kind words.

I left the warmth of my house, with glass of wine in hand and sandals on my feet. He noticed me and shouted;

"This is so fucking hard!"

After almost uncontrollable laughter, I walked right up to him (he hadn't moved) and gave him a few words of encouragement about the right technique for ice walking. I got the feeling he either;

A) Wasn't listening
B) Was pretty pissed
C) All of the above

Eventually we made it back to my house, but I couldn't help brag about how easy I thought it was. To be honest though, I found it pretty easy.

We then proceeded to listen to music, have a few bevvies and talk about war for some reason. It was enthralling and thoroughly capitulating (surrender under agreed conditions)

As Sam has pointed out, we had planned to meet Little Dean and Massive Tom in the pub, but we lost track of time listening to the lyrics of Ray Charles. It's sad because I haven't seen those two fruity people in a long, long time.

Anyroad, as we did finally leave the premises of Three Beacons, I had just got past the gate and 'Swoosh', I was flat on my arse. Completely flat on my arse. Pain in the arse it was too, but alcohol in that situation is a great help.. I suffered no ill fate due to this and I put it down to the wine.

Took us about 1027 seconds to get the Brocket.. But Sam has already filled you in, girlfriend!

It's at this point I want you to 'Swoosh' with me to the latter stages of the night..

Sammy lad had gone home and I was in the Lux (my favourite place ever) with Swinley Yates & LC ft. Jooles, Nelson, Noon & Crossan, with special guests.

I was having a ball, so I was. Being Boxing Day everyone was dressed up (apart from me, but more on that in a sec folks!) and the atmosphere was superb and happy happy.

Now, you may notice I am being general on matters such as the Lux.. But, that is because I can't remember specifics.. I can remember some specifics, but they are specific to me and I specifically don't fancy mentioning these to you. Don't take that as personal but, personally I would like to keep these matters general to me and unpublished. I had a great time though and it's brilliant to catch up with all the guys I don't see whilst at University.

I (one pint Dan) ended up staying in there 'til like 5 ish Ayy Emm.. Not a record for me, but fabulously brave, I must say.

'Swoosh' back to the costume saga;

I hadn't illicitly (contrary to accepted morality) dressed up.. Although unknowingly I had worn my 'Lifeboats' T-Shirt and I was wearing Wellies (icey, baby) .. Thus, it looked like I had dressed up rather crassly as a Lifeboat volunteer.

I worked this out when I got home and I was sad, for a while. But then I passed out.

This was my night, I have been Dan and you have all been wonderful! It's been a privilege and an honour and I wish you every success in the future. I, for one, know I'll be looking out for you, as well as trying to help myself in every which way possible. You've been wonderful, really.