The Holden/Andrews Festive Song

(To be sung in constantly changing, random accents)

When I was a little boy,
I had a teddy for a toy.
But I got some fluff stuck in me throat,
And now I sound like a goat.

So I sold it at a car boot sale,
I didn't know it'd lost it's tail.
So I jogged down to the pub,
And I asked the landlord: "Ast got any grub?".

The landlord threw me a plate of hotpot,
And I brunt me throat 'cos it were hot.
So I had a drink instead,
But I woke up with a bad yed.

I looked all over for me Teddy,
And then I got a cruise to the Meddy.
Then we docked in Naples,
So I bought meself some Staples.

Then I clipped our tickets together,
And put 'em in me purse of leather.
And I put me purse inside me bag,
It were so heavy, I started to sag.

It'd been a wild, wild trip,
But I've made a lot of friends on this ship.
Turns out one of 'ems got me teddy,
She's same kinda hair, thick and reddy.

I said she could keep it,
It'd be our little secret.
So I said: "Goodbye" to Reddy and Teddy,
I think it's time to go to Beddy.

by,

Derek Holden,
Joshua Andrews,
Jimmy Andrews,
Laura Andrews,
Karen Andrews,
Margaret Holden,
Sam Holden and
A significant amount of alcohol.