Joy Division.

Joy Division is the title of this blog which, I'll be completely honest, makes no sense.

But it will a lot later on.. Kind of.

Well, the day started for me at around 2pm. Me and that old dog, Phil Jones, went to the pub in Wigan.. The Brocket Arms. A fine establishment, I must say.

I got a pint of Ruddles (Boo hiss, cheap sod, boo) and my Father got a pint of Double Dark (hoorar!). There was a valid reason for being in the pub at such an early hour though, the Rugby was only bloody on in Leeds!

England vs Australia in the 4Nations Final.

We had food in the pub, but mine was worse than baby shit. On the flip side, Phil's was 'The best pudding I've probably ever had'.

Nice.

Pub to Coach > Coach to Pub.. In Leeds.

Stood outside with 2 pints each in the coldest wind, ever. Embarassingly though, we had walked the whole way around Elland Road Stadium looking for the East stand, when in actual fact, the coach dropped us off right outside it. We even picked our tickets up from the 'East Ticket Office'.

I blamed the Senior.

Game was good, but we lost. However, all was not lost for PJ, for he had brought a plastic bottle of (what looked like piss) Whisky. This warmed the cockles of his heart and we coached it back.

I briefly fell asleep, my Dad basically passed out.

Coach to Wigan> Us to Pub.

Heading for the Brocket, we walked passed 3 Chavs in a Takeaway.. One of them shouted towards me;

"Is that a Condom on your head!?"

It wasn't, it was a hat - but it's that kind naivety that causes accidents.

We eventually got back in to the Brocket and met up with Simon Yates and Simon's Mum.

We had jovial, clean banter on an array of subjects. But the tone took a nose dive when Simon was trying to describe some Rod Stewart lookalike.. To which his Mum confessed;

"He's gay isn't he? He still goes with his Mum.."

Only to later retract that statement and say;

"He does still go with his Mum, but only at the weekend."

After much of this tooing and froing it was time to leave the Brocket, for the second time. Simon and I headed off in to town and the older generation went home.

Important Note: It's at this point 'Joy Division' will kind of make sense.

Having a few scoops in the Boulevard and we start talking to this old guy. Short, with a bald head. He immediately mentions Joy Division and does this funny out stretched arm thing. We talk more and I try and find out his name;

"Arthur", he says.

Simon asks him;

"Eric", he says.

It was like this for about 2 and a half minutes, until finally we cracked asked him what his name actually was;

"Arthur Eric Eccles Manchester."

It was at this point we sensed he was a nutter. But a bloody funny nutter all the same.

Joy Division followed by outstretched arm was certainly his favourite thing to do. He also 'would have shot the Eastern Europeans' had he been 21 again. I got the feeling he didn't think about that, because had he shot the Eastern Europeans, he would have been in prison and not trollied in a Wigan pub. The daft get.

Ashley Molyneux came in to the Boulevard a little later on and he'd just turned 21, so we chatted for a while about things of that nature and then I think he went somewhere else, or just simply vanished.

From the Boulevard to The Officers Club.. It was 4am and I was knackered. Like really knackered, but Yate's child-like quality really shines through in those situations. He insisted we go in, I agreed but on one condition; I could be sick.

Permission granted.

For actual evidence we went in, I typed this in to draft messages on my phone:

'pemps i cant wait to see your fanny. we're in pemps it's very quiet. as rugby fans we deserve more. i don't do shots.'

So there!

Had a shot of something red and a pint of something wet and that was me done. I could no longer carry on being that drunk. I had to go home - pretty much had to bin the dummy Simon had thrown on the floor, but you have to be stern in those situations.

Takeaway, Garlic Bread, Taxi, Bed. 6am and it was all over.

An Epic journey of life changing experiences, achievement, fruitfulness and Joy Division.