Chris's 22nd Birthday.

It really is lovely to be typing to you this morning, but before I begin Eddie Reed wanted a mention in this Blog.

I hope that is sufficient. I must stress, shout outs will be kept to a minimum. It's like if I went on the Jonathan Ross show, I would love to mention everyone I know and say Hi - But come on guys, that's not going to happen. Keep it on the down low, yo.

It was Mr Chris Halls 22nd Birthday last night and being the bloody great Middlesbrough ginger that he is, he got drunk. Which, to be fair, is a perfectly fine thing to do on your birthday. Me and Sam bought him a card that cost £22.99, from Gamestation (we left the bloody price ticket on it stupidly..) It was pink and had some Teddies on it, I think.. I think he cried because it was really nice.

£1.21 Tesco Value Cider was the preferred drink of the evening.. It was so cheap, it tasted like the smell of petrol in an old Y reg Triumph Acclaim 1982 / 1983. I quite liked it, Sammy Holden didn't.

Off to the Vicarage, where everyone's favourite Blackpool tower let us in (that's two mentions, in the space of half a page). Meeted and Greeted everyone and that and then I went for a wee.

Zooom forward about 15 minutes, I had finished my wee and Chris had introduced the Vodka Jelly.

Strongest Vodka Jelly mix I have ever experienced in my life. It was red and was so bloody strong it melted the hairs on your tongue. It felt like a trident to the ribs, a dagger to the thigh, if you will.

Some scribble around this point..

We had that freeview channel 'rabbit' on, where most people hailed from Wakefield and were;

"Lukin 4 tht speshal sum1, alwys up 4 a laff, gd fun. txt me luv dav."

If that doesn't 'woo' you, I'm not sure what will.

Taxi>Town>Font Bar.

I had an Amaretto Sour obvs and Sam had something. Think we spent a little while in here because I went for a wee twice. Then we briefly saw the girls outside, but I'm afraid we were moving on.

5th Av.

It was rammmmmed man. It's at this point I ran out of money. Also, in a weird way for 5th Av, it wasn't a massive sausage fest. Obviously there was an element of sausage, like always - but a fair amount of clientèle were not sausages.

I don't think anything memorable happened really apart from..

On the way out, we were all waiting for everyone's favourite James.

Mr James Dorrington.

He had attempted to leave without his coat..

Note: Pod = 3

There was a pod of girls all blabbling to each other. So I sat next to one and looked over.

"Don't, I think they're arguing."

Was the call from one of the pod. I looked across at the one being all narky and she said;

"Get your agly mag aaaat of it. I don't even knaaaw you.. Just fack off! I don't even knaaaw you!"

I think she was on crack, or she was just a mental bitch. They left and so did we.

I got back, made a pasta bake that took ages. It was all cooked at about half 4. I didn't eat any of it, just saved it in my casserole dish - and it's still there now. Bits have gone because Nicole got in about 4 and I offered her some.

(She isn't going to turn that down, you know)

Then I started to watch Have I Got News For You.. But, I turned it off because I wanted to watch the extended version later.

Zoooom to this morning. Phone's ringing and it's Chris!

"Alright man like, howay.. I'm still pissed, like."

We conversed for ages actually. He asked me did I go to 42's.. I said, No did you?

"Yeah.."

Daft get.

Then he put the phone down on me after telling me someone had changed his name to Ronald Weesley on Facebook.

Priceless.